


'Ballie' one-shots

by Hez88



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-11-20 12:12:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11335407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hez88/pseuds/Hez88
Summary: A series of one-shots based on our favourite couple. Every chapter will be completely different. Open to ideas, so feel free to share any thoughts or preferences.





	1. The Morning After

**Author's Note:**

> First up, takes place where 4x10 leaves us. I always wanted to see how Allie would have reacted to waking up, finding herself in Bea's arms and the conversation that would have followed. I think Wentworth really missed a trick not showing us those moments between them. This is my take;

As the bright morning light creeped through the window, Allie's eyes flickered open. She brought her hand up to her face, rubbing her fingers over her pounding forehead. She wasn't even sure when she eventually fell asleep and slowly, she remembered the night before. The lashing out, the screaming, the tears. It all explained why she was feeling the way she was right now. She let out an audible groan, soon realising afterwards that there was a secure arm draped over her torso. A soundly sleeping form in the shape of Bea huddled closer to her, resting her head gently on her shoulder. Allie stayed completely still for a few moments, not wanting to wake the older, peacefully sleeping woman. Eventually she turned her head, her heart swelling as she studied every little feature of the redhead's face. Allie was sure she'd never seen her look so content. Like she didn't have a care in the world. She'd dreamt about this moment, waking up to this very sight. In completely different circumstances obviously but still, the goosebumps took over the blonde's whole body. It was nice. It was something she'd never experienced before with anyone and she wanted to saviour it for as long as she possibly could.

"Allie," Bea's voice, laced with a husky morning tone broke Allie from every thought running through her mind. The redhead smirked, her eyes still closed before she continued on. "Take a picture, it'll last longer,"

"Sorry. I was just, I mean I was..." Allie stuttered, struggling to form a sentence of words together. Her cheeks were flush, embarrassed at being caught and she couldn't come up with any explanation or excuse so sighed loudly. "Shit. Sorry,"

"It's alright, I'm joking," Bea chuckled, finally opening her eyes. She wouldn't admit it out loud but she secretly loved the fact Allie had been so deeply engrossed in her features. No one had ever done anything like that with her before. No one had ever looked at her like the blonde did. It definitely set off butterflies in her stomach. "How're you feeling, you ok?"

"Hmm. Except the headache, that's pretty rough," she answered, pausing for a moment as her mind focused on the fact that Bea's right arm was still securely draped across her waist. She'd had the opportunity to move it, to break all contact and move away but she hadn't and it didn't look like she was going to either. "You really stayed with me all night?"

"Yeah," she nodded, fighting a yawn from escaping her lips.

"You... You didn't have to do that,"

"I know," Bea agrees. "But I wanted to,"

"Thank you,"

Equally, they smile at one another, both falling into a somewhat comfortable silence for a few minutes. Bea shut her tired eyes again and the blonde found herself watching once more, slowly moving her head from the pillow before cautiously and gently resting it on Bea's shoulder. Despite everything, all the things Bea thought since the attack on her, all the harsh words that left her lips, she stood strong by Allie's side when she needed it most and she didn't leave. Not once. It was something Allie wouldn't ever forget. Unfortunately, both woman were interrupted from their spell of peace and quiet when raised voices were heard outside Allie's cell.

"Bloody hell," Bea sighed loudly, rolling her eyes as Boomer and Sonia continued. "I should get up, see what's going on out there. Seems like they can't bloody behave for five minutes unsupervised,"

"Don't go," Allie whispered suddenly, lightly placing her hand on Bea's arm as she tried to take it from around her. Waking up to her, having her body so close, her arm around her protectively, it was too perfect a moment to cut short. "They'll sort out whatever is wrong. Can't you just stay here with me for a bit longer?"

"Ok," the older woman replied pretty much instantly, picking up on the pleading tone of Allie's voice. She still needed her here and couldn't bring herself to say no. She settled down again, readjusting the duvet over both of their bodies. "I guess I can stay until morning count at least. Did you sleep ok?"

"Better than expected. I probably tired myself out," Allie added, her eyes filling with tears. She blinked quickly in an attempt to hide them, to fight them back but Bea noticed and lifted her hand, softly running her thumb across the younger woman's cheek. That action only gained a more audible sob. She couldn't believe she let herself stoop so low again and this time it was worse because the redhead saw it. "I didn't want you to see me like that,"

"It's ok,"

"It's not ok. I was a mess. I was as close to rock bottom as I could possibly go, I wasn't even me anymore and I hate that you saw that,"

"I hate how you saw me in the kitchen, after Ferguson,"

"It's not a competition,"

"I know," Bea chuckled briefly, her thumb still caressing Allie's tear stained cheek. She traced down her face gently stopping at her lips. "Allie, look at me,"

"Bea,"

"Shhh. Just let me talk for a minute. I couldn't help Debbie, I was stuck here and I lost her because I couldn't get to her," she stopped herself, swallowing the lump that had appeared rapidly in her throat. Allie's eyes never left her, like Bea had asked for them not to do. "I'm not going to lose you too,"

"I'm so sorry Bea,"

"I know you are. I'm sorry too,"

"Why?"

"For not believing you," she answered simply. "For letting Kaz get under my skin, for believing her when she said you only used me so they could get to me,"

"I could never fake how I feel about you,"

"That's what Maxine said,"

"It was never anything to do with Kaz. I got close to you because I wanted to, despite what that would mean for me and her," Allie's fingers found Bea's and she entwined them, softly and reassuringly squeezing as she did so. "I didn't care about that, if it meant being with you, I still don't care about any of it,"

"I'm nothing special,"

"You are kidding me, right?"

"A murderer, a lifer,"

"I don't see you like that," Allie answers honestly. "And in case you haven't noticed, I'm in prison right with ya, a drug taking ex prostitute,"

"We're quite a match," Bea managed a smile, one that Allie returned.

"A perfect one if you ask me," the smile still beamed on the young blonde's face. "You had your reasons for what you did, everyone knows that. None of it makes you a bad person,"

"No?"

"No. I've never known strength like yours,"

"You said that to Westfall, in the slot,"

"Yeah,"

"You also said it was all bullshit,"

"Well, I lied. You're the strongest, bravest person I know,"

"You're pretty strong too," Bea adds, tracing her index finger down the side of the blonde's face. "I should have believed you when you told me,"

"It's not easy when you've been hurt before, I get it," Allie accepted, enjoying the soft touch on her cheek. "She said things to fuck me up, to keep us apart. When I found you, I've never been so scared my whole life, I thought you were gone and I just went into blind panic,"

"You saved me,"

"I thought you couldn't remem,"

"I went to see Mr Jackson, he told me he did take over from you," the redhead explains, glancing into Allie's perfectly blue puddled eyes. "You kept my heart beating,"

"I couldn't bring myself to give up on you," she admits softly then manages a light chuckle. "I didn't even know what to do,"

"Well, it worked. I'm still here,"

"I really have missed you,"

"I know," Bea nods, watching the younger woman's face give a hint of disappointment when she didn't immediately hear the response she wanted. It wasn't like before though, there was no guard, no need to pretend she wasn't feeling exactly what she was. Bea was there, completely open and ready to give a little more of herself out to the person she cared for the most. "I really missed you too,"

"Really?" Allie beamed and the redhead nodded, giggling at the reaction. "Say it again,"

"What? Why?"

"I just got the funniest feeling right here when you said it," Allie confesses, chuckling as she guides her lover's hand onto her stomach, her breath hitching in her throat when Bea's hand slips underneath the fabric of her t shirt.

"All this," Bea begins hesitantly, her fingers lovingly tracing circle shapes on the blonde's perfectly toned stomach. "It all still scares the shit out of me though,"

"I know. That's why I'm happy to take things as slowly as you want. There's no pressure, not for anything,"

"It's just everyone before, well, Harry he... "

"Bea, it's alright. Not everyone is like him, I'm not like him," Allie reassures, lightly pressing her lips to the other woman's cheek. "I'd never hurt you, ever. All I want to do is make you happy, make you smile everyday,"

"Tsskkk,"

"What?"

"How did someone like you end up in a place like this?"

"Someone like me?" Allie repeats, hoping for some sort of elaboration.

"Beautiful, smart, kind hearted. You're so much better than here,"

"Full of compliments this morning, aren't ya?"

"I mean it," she insists, losing her fingers in Allie's hair for a moment. "After the count, come with me to the showers, I'll do your hair for you,"

"Really?"

"Hmmm," Bea hummed. "Should be quiet enough to have the place to ourselves,"

"Aren't you worried what people will say?"

"Not really," she shrugged. "I don't want to hide in that bloody closet with you anymore. Let people talk, they'll find something else to discuss tomorrow, they always do in here. I'll start with that lot out there, Maxine already knows about us and totally loves you by the way,"

"Well, why wouldn't she? I am pretty awesome," Allie joked, making the redhead laugh.

"Booms will be Booms and she'll ask so many inappropriate questions, so prepare yourself for that,"

"She's funny. When she's not trying to bash me in the showers that is,"

"Yeah, I've still to have words with her about that,"

"Babe, it's fine," Allie laughs at her lover's protective instinct kicking in. "She was protecting you,"

"Hmm. She's just a little over eager sometimes,"

The call for morning count disturbed them both from a place they could have comfortably stayed all day. They reluctantly parted, Bea placing a gentle kiss on Allie's left cheek before quickly scurrying across the floor of H1 to stand in position outside her own cell. Within ten minutes, morning count was over and as soon as it was, Boomer, Liz and Sonia broke into conversation, Maxine following in a few seconds after the rest. Bea went straight back over to Allie.

"Come on,"

"Are you sure about this?" Allie found herself questioning, glancing down to Bea's hand that was reaching out for her. She simply nodded and Allie stepped forward, clasping her lover's hand in her own. That alone felt great.

"Hey guys, listen up," Bea announces, grabbing her friend's attentions. During the brief pause she took, she felt Allie gently squeeze her hand. They were Bea's closest friends for sure but it was still a big step for her to take. Allie knew that. "Everyone's going to find out anyway but I wanted you lot to be the first to know, Allie and I, we're together,"

"Nice one," Maxine mouthed silently, winking in her friend's direction.

"Like, together together?" Boomer raised her brow in surprise, Allie found herself giggling before Bea confirmed. "Fucking hell eh. Didn't know you were a fan of the muff Bea,"

"Yeah, cheers Booms," Bea rolled her eyes.

"Good for you, love. Nice to see you with a smile on your face again,"

"Thanks Liz,"

"Hey listen," Boomer started almost nervously, stepping forward to properly engage with the blonde. "I'm really sorry you know, for the showers thing, I just thought you were helping the freak and,"

"It's alright, Boomer. I know," Allie smiled, accepting the apology given to her. "You were protecting Bea. She's lucky to have such amazing friends around her,"

"Yeah. Well I just wanted to say sorry and say it won't happen again,"

"Should hope not Booms," Bea responds, playfully yet protectively placing her arm around her now girlfriend's shoulder. "Actually Booms, have you got a minute?"

"Sure,"

"What are you up to?" Allie questions curiously.

"Nothing," Bea answers innocently, pecking the blonde's cheek quickly. "I'll be right back,"

With Bea disappearing off with Boomer, Allie sat herself down at the table after helping herself to a glass of water. She was only sat in her own company for a minute or two.

"You alright hun?"

"Yeah," the blonde nodded towards Maxine with a beaming smile. "Yeah, I really am. Bea told me what you said to her, about not playing her, thank you,"

"Just told her what I saw," Maxine adds. "I've never seen her like this before, so happy. You're good for her,"

"She's good for me too,"

"Don't worry about Kaz, alright?" Maxine says suddenly, watching Allie's face change slightly as she denied it. "Hun, you are a little, I can tell but it's ok. Bea won't let anything happen to you and neither will any of us, myself included,"

"You should be taking it easy,"

"Strong as an ox me,"

"Seriously, how're you feeling?"

"Tired but ok, got my second round of chemo later and they say it's worse than the first,"

"You'll be alright," Allie quietly reassures her new friend, resting her hand on top of Maxine's who returns an appreciative smile. "I've got my sentencing today too,"

"It might not be so bad,"

"Can I be honest with you?" She asks, Maxine nods immediately. "I'm only thinking about Bea. Like, it sounds so crazy but I don't just want months with her. She's the best thing that's ever happened to me, I actually won't care if I get years thrown at me,"

"Love makes us want crazy things,"

"Like longer sentences in prison," Allie jokes, causing brief laughter between both woman. "When do you leave?"

"Just before breakfast,"

"Good luck. I'll be thinking of ya,"

"Hey you two," Bea reappears, gently rubbing her hand against the blonde's back. "You ready? If we leave now, we'll be done just before breakfast,"

"Yeah, I'll just go grab my shower bag,"

"What?" Bea chuckled as Maxine's gaze focused firmly on her as soon as Allie left the table.

"You've smiled more in the last ten minutes than I've seen you smile the whole time I've been here," she pointed out with a grin. "It's nice to see,"

"Not sure it would have happened without your little push, so thank you and I haven't forgotten about today, I'll be thinking of you,"

"Thanks Bea, I'll be back this evening, providing all goes well," Maxine added as Allie reappeared in her shower robe, clutching her wash bag. She smirked, spotting her friend's mouth hang slightly open at the sight now before her. "If you two want to make it back for breakfast you better make moves instead of standing there staring at one another,"

"We're going, we're going," Bea announced pulling herself together to gently tug at Allie's hand. "You ready to step outside the closet with me?"

"With you, I'm ready for anything,"


	2. The Pieces Won't Fit Anymore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Missing scene from 5x01 where Allie learns of Bea's death.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think most of us would agree that s5 was a big disappointment. I wasn't sure what to expect without Bea and right from the beginning I felt the writers missed out a great deal of things we wanted to see. As hard as it would have been to watch, I really wanted to see that initial first scene with Allie and Franky and think Kate Jenkinson would have absolutely smashed it. Anyway, as it happened, they chose to completely cut that moment out and since then I've decided to write up my little take on it. Hope you guys enjoy it x

Franky rested her pounding head against the wall, sighing deeply. She'd been stood outside the hospital ward for some time, she wasn't sure how long exactly but she'd already drank two seriously strong coffees and paced the floor back and forth a silly number of times. No matter how much she tried, she couldn't just sit still, couldn't stop herself from fidgeting. Glancing into the room via the window, she could see the younger woman hooked up to the machines, her eyes were closed and she hadn't moved an inch since the tattooed brunette arrived. She had chased up a doctor straight away, eager and desperate to hear about the blonde's progress, if there had been any at all. If Allie was making moves in the right direction then at least that was one positive she could take from the last twenty four hours.

They had been utterly horrendous. Right up there with the worst she had ever experienced.

From the unexpected, out of the blue phone call that shattered her heart and reduced her to a sobbing mess, to driving straight to the hospital first thing this morning. Everything in between was a hazy blur. She had barely slept, spending most of the night tossing and turning before she gave up completely and moved downstairs onto the sofa. Bridget had an early rise and the last thing she wanted was to keep her awake half the night too. Given the circumstances, Bridget wouldn't have cared and Franky knew that but still, she thought better to move. In that moment she just wanted to be alone with her thoughts.

Pushing herself from the wall, Franky moved towards the door, still wrestling with her mind on whether or not she should enter, whether or not she even could. This was going to be one of the hardest things she would ever have to do and suddenly she was doubting her strength and ability to go through with it. She'd been through it a hundred times in her mind and still she wasn't sure what the best way to break the news was, if there was a best way to break news like this.

Hearing the double doors open and quickly shut behind her, the brunette barely had time to turn herself around before she felt the familiar, safe feeling of her girlfriend's arms around her waist. She had been craving that all morning, Bridget's comfort the only thing that was going to make her feel a little better about everything. The older woman was always so capable of making any situation a little better, a little less overwhelming. Closing her eyes for a moment, she relaxed into her girlfriend's arms wishing herself away, wishing all this was different.

"Hi baby," Bridget whispered, lightly placing a gentle kiss on the younger woman's cheek. She looked tired, distraught, she was hurting so much and all she wanted to do was make things better. She had wished endless times in the last twenty four hours that she could but nothing was going to fix this mess, this horrible, heartbreaking, shit heap of a mess. "How's she doing?"

"She's been awake but it wasn't for long. That was before I got here, she's been asleep ever since. The doctor says that's normal though,"

"It is. Her body has been through a lot, the rest will do her good,"

"Yeah," she agreed, her mind in a drift. "She still doesn't know anything. I'm going to hang around here until she wakes up again,"

"The first thing she's going to ask is to see her. You know that, don't you?"

"Hmm," Franky nodded, biting hard down on her bottom lip as the tears threatened her eyes for about the hundredth time lately. She wasn't one for crying, she was never one for showing her emotions and laying them bare but ever since the awful news was broken to her, she couldn't control it. Yet she was here, forcing herself to be stronger than she had ever been because when she spoke later, she was going to shatter someone else's heart into a million pieces and she'd have to deal with that on top of everything else. "I guess that's why I'm still standing out here and I'm not sitting in there with her. This is going to destroy her Gidge,"

"There's people around to support her, to help her, whatever she needs there will be people there,"

"They aren't Red though are they?" She said simply, exhaustedly burying her head into her girlfriend's shoulder. Despite not knowing Allie personally, despite never meeting her before, it was clear from her visits to Bea in the last few weeks just how much the blonde had affected her. She had never seen her friend like that. Happy, smiling, completely head over heels in love. This is what made everything so much more heart wrenching for Franky. "I can't believe this, I can't get my head around it all. I only saw her the other day, we sat, we talked the whole visit,"

"I know, we only chatted last week too. I know I shouldn't tell you but she called for a session, she talked about Novak the whole time,"

"She was so in love with her, I never ever saw her like that. I never thought I would,"

"Are you sure you want to do this, baby?" Bridget asked gently, pulling back her girlfriend so she could look her in the face. Grabbing her hands, she squeezed them comfortingly. "You're still grieving too, in fact, I don't think you've given yourself time to take everything in,"

"My head is spinning,"

"I'm not surprised, you were up half the night,"

"I'm fine, I'll be fine," she insisted, not believing herself for a minute. "I owe it to Red, she would want someone to be here for when she wakes up and I think she would want it to be me. I don't want Allie to hear this from anyone else,"

"Ok, if you're sure," Bridget nodded, understanding. As hard as it was going to be for her, once Franky set her mind to something she rarely ever changed it. Plus, the bond she had with the redhead was tight, they were best friends and she meant the world to the brunette, she could tell how much they meant to each other, how much they leaned on one another for support. "Well, I'll be right out here if you need me, if either of you need me, ok? Just shout,"

"Thanks Gidge," she managed the smallest of smiles, one that hadn't lit up her face since she'd heard the news. Leaning in, she delicately kissed the older woman's lips, once then twice. "I love you,"

"I love you too," she replied, rubbing the younger woman's shoulders. "And I'm taking you straight home after this, you need to sleep and you need to eat something,"

"I'm fine,"

"You can keep saying that, I know you're not. Let me look after you, that's what I'm here for,"

"Ok," she surrendered, too tired to argue and she knew Bridget was right. Despite everything going on, she did need to make sure she looked after herself too. Making herself ill was going to help no one.

Taking one full deep breath, she placed her hand on the door, pushing it open before quickly stepping inside. She thought the blonde was still asleep but as soon as the door clicked shut, she turned her head, her face full of expectation and hope which soon disappeared quickly. Franky knew why. She wanted it to be Bea, maybe some part of her expected it to be too and now the realisation really hit hard that she was going to have to break the news that it was never going to be Bea again.

"Erm, hi," Allie managed, her face falling into a confused frown. "Do I know you?"

"No. I mean maybe," Franky answered, following quickly. "I don't know. I don't know if she ever told you about me,"

"Wait," she narrowed her eyes. The tattoos catching her attention, she was exactly how Bea had described before although the cheeky grin she'd spoke about hadn't made an appearance yet. The name on the tip of her tongue eventually came to her mind after a few seconds. "It's... Franky, right?"

"Yeah,"

"Let me guess, vinegar tits wouldn't let Bea out to visit me so she's sent you as her messenger?" Allie's giggle was like a very sharp dagger straight in her heart. She was really going to have to do this. She was really going to have to say the words that would darken the bright blue eyes staring back at her now, those eyes were now going to hide a pain behind them for the rest of her life. She felt sick, tightly clutching at her stomach. She had already thrown up twice early that morning, unable to keep anything down and the thought of attempting anymore food wasn't exactly making her feel any better. "Do me a favour will you? Just tell her that I'll be back to my usual self in no time, so she best be waiting on me getting out of here,"

"Allie, I... I can't do that,"

"Why? Has she got herself into trouble?" She questioned. "Has she been slotted?"

"No. No, it's not that. It's just... Fuck," she cursed, shifting her weight from one foot to the other, still chewing her lip frantically. So far, she was doing a lot better than she thought with her emotions but now they were bubbling so close to the surface, they were in serious danger of spilling out all over the place. "I don't know... I don't know how to say this to you and I fucking hate that I have to,"

"Say what? What's happened to Bea?"

Franky grabbed hold of the chair, dragging it across the floor, closer to the blonde's beside before she sat down. Reaching across, she clasped her fingers around Allie's hand. She could see the worry spread all across the other woman's face and as she attempted to sit herself up, Franky urged her to lay back down.

"The doctor said you've to take it easy,"

"It's something bad, isn't it?" She continued, fearing the answer she might receive back. "I know it must be because I know Bea, she'd do everything she possibly could to visit, no matter how hard they'd make it for her. Something has happened to keep her away, what is it?"

"I only found out yesterday. There was... " she stopped herself, taking a deep intake of breath. Allie's gaze was firmly fixed on her and she wasn't for moving it elsewhere any time soon. "There was an incident with Ferguson, outside the prison,"

"What? Wait, outside? What was she doing outside?"

"I'm not sure, I don't know. Ferguson, she er...she attacked her with a shiv. Bea got stabbed, pretty badly,"

"Stabbed?!" Allie cried, her eyes welling up quickly. "What the fuck. Is she alright? Has she been brought to the hospital? She's going to be ok, isn't she?"

For a moment, Franky couldn't speak. Her throat closed up, the dryness taking over, preventing her from talking further. She couldn't say the words, she just shook her head instead, eventually managing to mutter out something from her lips.

"I'm so sorry Allie," the tears sprung from her eyes rapidly, slipping down her cheeks uncontrollably. The blonde knew what that word meant, she knew what it meant for Bea. Franky wouldn't be apologising if everything was going to be alright. She would have no reason to. "I'm so, so sorry,"

"No. No. No," she cried, louder than before, so loud that Bridget appeared by the window, raising her hand to her mouth to stop herself from crying too. Novak was always going to take this bad, she'd noticed the change in both woman in the last few weeks, particularly Bea who she had only spoken to a few days previous. It was clear she was talking about Allie, it was clear she had really fallen for the beautiful blonde with the cheeky personality and Bridget was happy for her, the redhead had been to hell and back during her time in Wentworth. "Don't say it, please don't say it,"

"There was nothing they could do for her, it was too late, her injuries they were too severe,"

"No. She can't be, she wouldn't have left me, she just wouldn't have," she clenched her eyes shut tight, willing everything away, hoping it was all some horrible nightmare that she'd wake up from any second now.

"Allie,"

"No," the blonde yelled, a sudden burst of anger and denial rushing through her as she shielded herself from the unwanted comfort of the tattooed brunette's arms. "Fuck off, get out. Get out Franky. I don't want to hear any of this bullshit. She's alright, I know Bea and I know she'd be ok,"

"This is hard for me too, please don't make it any harder," Franky's tone was firm but she pleaded with the younger woman, managing to take a hold of Allie's thrashing arms, allowing her to fight back under tiredness took over quickly. She clearly forgot how weak she was and given the news she'd just heard, it had definitely knocked any energy she could muster, right out of her. The blonde stopped struggling, surrendering herself into Franky's arms as they sobbed together. "She was gone before they got to her, I am so sorry that it's me here telling you this. I haven't stopped hurting,"

"I just want Bea,"

"I know you do, I know,"

"I need her,"

"Come here,"

She was sick. Allie had worked herself up crying that much that she spilled the small contents of her stomach into a bucket held by the brunette who held the blonde locks from her face. Laying back a few minutes later, she accepted the cup of water and took a sip, still willing herself to wake up, still hoping this was all a dreadful dream. She thought if she willed herself enough, she would eventually wake up where she was with her last.

Comfortingly in the redhead's bed, the red blanket loosely tossed across both of their naked bodies. In that moment, Allie couldn't recall a happier one and if she could go back, she never would have left. She would have pulled Bea close, wrapped her arms around her body and never let go. The fact she did the complete opposite would now haunt her forever and she was going to have to live with that.

"This is my fault. I shouldn't have left her," she shared her thoughts aloud, wiping the tears that still fell down her cheeks. "We were together, I left her to go to the showers and I don't even know why I did that,"

"She said you were gone when she woke up, she came to the showers to find you and that's when she found you slumped in one of the stalls, needle in your arm,"

"I didn't do this to myself," she stressed, the last thing she wanted now was for Bea to have thought for even a split second that she was back on the drugs. "I had just promised her I'd never go near drugs again and I meant it, I didn't need them,"

"She believed you," Franky answered, knowing it would have been the smallest of comforts to the blonde. Throughout all the chats they shared about Allie, Bea had never said anything bad, not one word, not even when she thought the younger woman was playing her. "She swore Ferguson was behind it,"

"She knew Ferguson did this to me?" Allie repeated, her stomach turning. If Bea thought she was the reason Allie was laid up in hospital, barely surviving, there was no doubt the redhead would have went after her to seek some sort of revenge. There's no way she would have just let things lie. "That's why she was with her, to get revenge for all this,"

"She got some news from here, the Drs thought they couldn't do anymore for you. She thought you were gone and she couldn't bare the thought of losing you,"

"Fuck," she winced, pushing her hair back from her face. "Fuck. This really is all my fault,"

"No. No it isn't," the tattooed brunette insisted, pulling her chair even closer to the edge of the hospital bed. "That fucking freak stuck a shiv in her, this wasn't you, none of it was you,"

"She went out there to kill her because of all this,"

"This isn't your fault," Franky repeated, desperate for Allie to believe it. "The last thing Red would want is you blaming yourself, ok?"

"What else am I supposed to do?"

"Blame that fucking freak, she has got away with so much shit for far too fucking long," she gritted, her jaw clenching, her anger levels rising before she told herself this wasn't the sort of time for that. Allie needed her, needed a whole lot of comfort and a heap of reassurance. She'd just had the world ripped from underneath her and she was laying there completely broken. "She loved you so much, you know?"

"I know," her words were barely a whisper, she accepted the tissue, dabbing at her eyes, pretty certain that the tears were never going to stop. The pain she was currently feeling definitely wouldn't. She swallowed down, unable to think of the redhead in past tense as she continued. "I love her too,"

"I visited her a few times, especially lately and I'd never seen Red look like that before. She was happy, like really happy and the smile at the mention of your name was always so big,"

"She talked to you about me?"

"Yeah, course. I could sense this different vibe from her but I never thought she'd let anyone in after all that had happened before, never mind another woman. I used to tease her so much, tempt her, flirt with her but her response was always the same. She'd tell me to fuck off," she chuckled lightly, smiling briefly when she heard a rasp of laughter leave the blonde's mouth.

"That's pretty much the reaction I got at first too,"

"Trying to go down on top dog in the showers, that was a brave move,"

"She told you about that? I was an idiot," Allie cringed, briefly recalling that moment. "Thought I'd gone and fucked things up straight away. I scared the shit out of her,"

"Nah you didn't. Her walls were up, they'd been up since forever because of her bastard of an ex husband," she explained. "It was going to take someone really special to break it down,"

"I'm not sure I was that,"

"Are you fucking kidding me? Her face lit up anytime she mentioned you, she thought you were pretty 'spesh, trust me blondie,"

Hearing the words leave Franky's lips, kept the tears stinging her eyes. She hated that she was refined to the hospital bed, desperate to take off, get some air about her lungs.

"I don't think I can do this. I don't think I want to deal with all this without her,"

"Hey. You can. Red always said to me you were a fighter," Franky said, placing her hand lightly on top of the younger woman's who didn't pull away. "She'll be with Debbie. If anything makes the pain I'm feeling a little less hurtful then it's knowing that,"

She was right. The thought of Bea being reunited with her daughter did ease a little bit of the pain in her broken heart. Debbie was taken away so cruelly, without warning and the redhead never got a chance to say goodbye, never got the chance to spend even a last second or two with her but the fact they'd be together now was a comfort for sure.

"She always wanted that,"

"Yeah, she did,"

"Do you think they'll wait?" She thought aloud, realising the words had already left her lips before she could stop them. Sinking back deeply into the bed, she felt a little silly for voicing her thoughts to someone who was a stranger to her.

"Wait?"

"Yeah," she swallowed. "For me, I mean,"

"Of course they will. I've got no doubts about that, none whatsoever,"

"Why are you here? I mean, you don't have to be,"

"I loved Red, we'd been through a lot together, she was my best friend," the brunette answered simply, her thumb stroking the back of Allie's hand. "And she would royally kick my arse up and down this place if I didn't look out for you,"

"You can't," Allie said back, straight faced. "You can't look out for me. I have to go back there soon, without her there, without her by my side and suddenly it seems a whole lot worse of a place than before,"

"You still have the guys. Liz, Booms, Maxxie, Dors. They'll look out for you, you'll all need to help each other through this,"

"It's going to tear them apart,"

"That's why you need to all stick together, you're part of the family," Franky added, biting her bottom lip to help control her emotions. "You'll be okay, I promise you that,"

"I don't think I'll ever be okay again,"

"You will. Red would want you to be. Do you want me to stick around?"

"You don't have to do that,"

"I want to, if that's what you want, I really don't mind,"

"Thanks Franky but I just want to be on my own for a little while, if that's alright,"

"Sure. I can come back tomorrow or whenever you want. You don't need to deal with all this on your own. I sure as hell know I don't want to," she admitted, pushing her chair back before she stood to her feet. "I know you feel like your whole world has ended right now but it'll get better, I promise you. Stay strong, keep fighting and I'll see you tomorrow, alright?"

"Ok,"

As soon as Franky left the room and the door shut behind her, more tears, more audible tears left the blonde's eyes. Using all the strength she could muster, she clutched at the sheets, pulling them tight and closer to her body as she clenched her eyes shut. She still hoped, still prayed that this was all just one big horrendous nightmare but as the minutes ticked by and the night wore on, everything really started to painfully sink in.

Bea had been taken from her, she really was gone and she really wasn't coming back.


End file.
